Rethink___________________Parafiction_________________A Populated Universe

                 HANNA'S CONSCIOUSNESS

The videos, photographs and slide shows in this column are what Hanna believes to most closely illustrate her consciousness and common activity in her mind along side her story.
In one of our early conversations, Hanna made it very clear that she has seen several UFO's in her day and that all were spherical and white, some had port windows and some she was taken to see and some shot out a hailing of sparkles to her.  Later she said very little about them.
This piece of music is called "Hannas' Consciousness" and I was delightfully surprised to find something with her own name and so perfect for her story as she told me that the music in her head was not like the new age meditation and spiritual music of today but was much more thumping and driving and heavy in a going nowhere in particular and always moving in a purposeful sort of way.  This piece works nicely for that description.  I named the story after this piece.
Hanna stated that she sees the Earth itself daily in her minds eye as if she is watching it closely all the time, it is always with her. She says it feels natural in the way you picture the neighborhood lane that you live on when you are in your home.  If anyone does that, like she does.
Of all the things that Hanna spoke about, by far the most profound was "cosmic consciousness" and that it is not theoretical or doctrinal or related to a history in any way and is truly cosmic.  He visions and daydreams were in black and white and grey when she was young but picked up definition as she grew older. Planets, stars, asteroids, nebulas, solar systems and galaxies were always in her mind, often in full color and she believes these are inherent knowledge or memories of some kind and natural to her consciousness.  She called it "cosmic consciousness".
No stopping the music in this piece, click below on the audio to continue . . .
When "Hanna's Consciousness" ends, begin it again, please.
Hanna claimed that she often spins the earth globe in her hand in her mind and levitates it spinning in her minds eye.  She said that when she does this, something always comes up on the news of a planetary interest, such as a picture of a huge hurricane from satellite view, or an unusual aurora flare that was filmed and aired on TV, or a passing comet and the likes.  She said, "Don't misunderstand as people usually do, I do not muse to naturally spin the globe mentally in psychic vision EVERY TIME something of a planetary nature occurs but when I DO spin it, there has always been something noteworthy that has happened."  Apparently people misunderstand Hanna when she talks of natural psychic nature.  I , however did NOT misunderstand her and was corrected anyway.
Here's an interesting one . . . Hanna told me that the Sun and Moon were very important to her and she watched them continually in the sky and in her mind for they were truly beautiful and kept her calm and content.  The Earth is not beautiful, she said, and I quote "Planet earth is not beautiful at all, it is thatched and crackled and overgrown with too many scrambled eyefuls even before humanity ruined it with trash and pollutants.  Most planets are beautiful, stark, sleek, sparse and open with colors shining wide and long on the landscapes.  People say, Oh how beautiful our planet Earth is, but it isn't, no, not at all.  Earth is actually quite homely, but the sun and moon are still beautiful".
When I asked Hanna what some of her favorite things were she gave me a short and blatant list rather quickly off the top of her head, she said "I like astronomy and most all of the sciences, I love modern ballet, psy goa and most techno music.  Sunrises, sunsets, moon-rises and moon-sets. I like synthesizers and simple prime geometric shapes in architecture and art.  I like neon and airbrush. I like most surreal art.  I like the piano and the violin."  What about pets, I asked.  "I don't care for animals." she answered. Favorite foods, I pressed?  "Actually I do not really care for food, it is not the flavors but the textures that I don't like, I can say that I like vanilla a good deal."
Click the audio player for Hanna's Consciousness again for the Character Study
                                                  Click Below

         A Zen Dope Character Study
                          "Hanna"

I never actually saw Hanna clearly in person, we had web cam and chat room typing discussions only and I believe she looked as normal as anyone else.  About five foot seven, dishwater blond short hair, very green eyes and rather average looking, easy to look upon, simple face, straight teeth, light make up, big smile, nothing out of the ordinary.  She was, however, unusually young in character for her age as well as quite physically active and energetic. I said, "You look like an ordinary human."  She laughed loudly and said "I am!"  "I am born completely into human consciousness and physicality, I am human."  And she said more . . .
"People have talked about their higher self and I have to say that the higher self isn't much more than the incarnational self except for more memory of pre-incarnational existence, certainly not much more consciousness power as the higher self grows in consciousness size just like the incarnate does with time.  I know that I am just a smidgen of my natural self.  If my whole self were a thousand pounds in consciousness weight, as an incarnate I was born with a consciousness weighing an ounce and have only grown to what will eventually be a maximum of, say a hundred pound consciousness." 
"Consciousness has weightless weight, it's a different physics entirely. It's kind of funny but no one realizes that the entireity of the natural mind can not fit into the consciousness constructs of this planet.  This planet is for small consciousness, I don't know why, I did not design it.  But to incarnate here you have to be small and stay fairly small throughout your incarnation.  I am certainly human and can only grow as big as the physics of this planet and what the consciousness fields here will allow.  I will probably grow to that full size and maybe others won't, so it is all realtive, you see?" 
"There may be some very big and powerful minds here, true, but even they can only grow to be so big.  Most incarnates could never bring their full consciousness and weight of mind into this world."
I have to say, Hanna was quite sincere and convincing at times in her descriptions of being something more than human although she looked and acted just like you and I.
                                                                A Populated Universe 
Angelique - Your story sounds like a  "Parafiction" to me, Hanna.
Hanna - What is "Parafiction"?  I've never heard of that.

Angelique - Well, "Parafiction" is rather what it sounds like, "Para" means "above" or "beyond" and "fiction" means "imaginary" or "inventedl"  So, "Parafiction" is something that sounds imaginary but can not be disproven as  factual.  It can neither be proven or disproven by conventional means.
Hanna - So, what are you saying then?

Angelique - I am saying that we are going to have to go above the conventional categories for this one, so don't be surprised or dismayed when you see your story listed in this category.
Hanna - I don't suppose I care either way.

Angelique - Good, then let's start with your frist encounter in 1996 you said?
Hanna - Well, since you have me in an unusual category, why don't we lose the conventional format for the story as well, let's just jump into the whole of the story instead of listing dates and times and other records in such a typical style of reporting, and let me just tell my story the way I have to say it?  You say there is no need to prove anything, so why not let me off the hook and let me tell YOU the story instead of you interviewing me?

Angelique - Wow . . . ok, I didn't expect that.
Hanna - Since there is no goal to prove or disprove what I am telling you, then why not take the interrogation feature out of the process?  Does that seem fair in your "Parafiction" categorical listing?

Angelique - Actually, it does.  (long pause)  Ok, fair enough.  The "way" things are told, the slant, the angle, the point of perspective is important to any story and if you want it told your way, I don't see any reason to format you except to release the structure that I would have held you in to "report" your expeirences to me as I lead you on to the next interest of inquiry.  I see what you are saying, it "colors" the story heavily as every reporter knows.  I suppose that is an insult to a reporter, to request that the teller lead and the listener follow,  (chuckles) but I can let go and take a chance on you, I supopose. You did mention that the proper "rules of engagement" are no where near what we are using to talk to people about these particular subjects and is a large deterrant. So, ok, start telling, the way you want to tell it then.
Hanna - It only seems fair in this "Parafiction" category you know.  To tell it like it really is is something that I did not feel was ever going to happen for people like myself and I don't have to tell my story at all, I am not required to tell anyone anything.  So a foundation that allows someone to talk and tell something without being led around by the nose to sound like all the others, or to sound categorical and repititious is a surprise I did not expect and I have to admit, sounds encouraging to me.  I feel optomistic now that you have such a category that relases me form categories, (laughing), it's nice really. I like it!

Angelique - Well good! (smiling), so where do you begin?
Hanna - Right! (laughing) So, ok.  Ironically, it really starts with the long time knowing that I was unconventional.  When compared to the group or society I am living in, I was "different"  Now I know everyone want's to think they are different and I was told that every single time I took confidence in someone and told them my feelings on this.  "Everyone want's to be different, Hanna, that's normal!"  So in actuality I was corrected and deemed "normal" or given a glare that says, "Be quiet".  So, I rather learned to keep my different self hidden and quiet, of course.  Being young gives you no credibility either and I couldn't wait to get older, to be thrity so everyone would stop calling me "kid" especially if I talked about anything unorthodox or intellectual. 

"Philosophy" was right out!  I was far too young to know anything about "Philosophy".  So I literally shut down and waited to be thirty.  Maybe then I could be taken seriously or at least not shut down all the time.

Angelique - Were your philosophies unusual in some way?
Hanna - No, not really, not "bizzarre" I don't believe but they were "stark" and openly questioned authority and tradition.Unfortunately, after turning thirty, it was the same thing but with more force than insult.  No one wanted to hear anything that was out of the norm in my circles or family.  I began to look for more "New Ageish" groups to hang out with and found some, but when the usual rant of opressers in my life continued to dis my choice of friends and social circles, they moved away slowly and I was usually alone again.  I was raised in a Christian environment and in order to forget all of that I will just skip it with that statement. 

I had influences that led me to paranormal and other unusual spiritual phenomena from the time I was a teenager on so I was living in two worlds from an early age and eventually could see that. When I was older, say thrity two or so, I began to take the ball into my own hands and stand up for my own convictions and spiritual yearnings, in private of course.  So my bravery had limits and my conditioning were still controlling me to a large extent.

Angelique - So, no one knew you had certain spiritual beliefs then?
Hanna - No, it wasn't beliefs so much as investigations and not just along any path, but more driven to investigate certain interests, not all interests in the spiritual fields.  I did, however, by the age of thrity five, do an intense research into the origins of religion and the different world religions and their intent and proclamations.  It was a fascinating study for me.

Angelique - Had you already had these awakenings or contacts with astral people?
Hanna, No, not yet, but I had something else that I was riding on for a long time and it was like a "course" or "plan" that I was following without being able to fully describe what it was.  You see, my entire life, I have never had a bank account, never voted, never had a credit card, never followed a church or particular spiritual teacher.  I rather "touched" on everything to see what was here, you know? 

I studied astrology and channeling and ascension, I studied Mysticism, Mormanism, Bhuddism, and so much more but was only "looking around".  I went though each one in some depth and then moved on.  I made sure to look at everything, Gnostic Christian, Catholicism, Vedism, New Age, Eastern Philosophy, Shamanism, Yoga, Reike, Native Indian, Peruvian, African, Scientology, Brotherhoods of Masters, Channeled Aliens, UFO's Illuminati, I Ching, Chinese Philosophy, Astrology, Divination, Christ Consciousness, Mythology and on and on. 

And although I found something noteworthy in some of them, I found more that "rubbed me the wrong way" in all of them.  So by the time I was in my thirties, I realized fully that I was merely looking around and checking into the spiritual of this world.  I knew it from this drive that pushed me and I knew it in retrospect.  By that I mean by looking at the path I had already traveled and putting the pieces together.  I was really clipping along at a nice rate investigating anything and everything of a higher knowledge and none of it was something I would ever "keep" as mine.

I was not interested in any religion, obviously, or any government, politics were absurd to me, deception and manipulation were evident in all ruling factions and socially people were easy to herd and lead.  The astral contacts and UFO's I saw and the so called "bizzare" events that happened there, was again, not satisfying as "spiritual" either and early into that phase I wrote many papers and did many studies into the spirit world and the negativity there, liars, deceivers and so on.  I found it to be mostly haunted and unwholesome.

Angelique - Fascinating, Hanna.  What about the "awakenings" we talked about?
Hanna - Oh, those . . . yes they happened but I saw them more as a climbing out of a thick oppressed consciousness rather than awakening from a sleep.  If  I were asleep then I was sleepwalking as if I were awake and knew every step I wanted to take.  People say we are all asleep and to wake up but as I felt it, it was more that you were awake and looking around stunned, in a shock more than a sleep.  Years of work to accept this reality and life on this planet was major for me.  I had to desensitize and recalibrate my consciousness regularly to cope and continue on.  This world, Angelique, is quite messed up.

Angelique - Hmmm (frowning) . . . well, I can't really disagree with you on that, but it could be worse, don't you think?
Hanna - Yes!  And it has been, time and time again over history. (laughing) (pausing)  So, you let me talk openly and in my own way.  Thank you. (smiles)
How is that for today?

Angelique - Good, I suppose.  We really didn't get into much except a background, it's called setting the scene, you know? So, you said that you wanted to say a little about people who are born open and that not everyone is living in the same reality on this planet, can you tell me more about this?
Hanna - (laughing) Well, there's not much more to say than that except details.  I don't "believe" that I was born open and that there are many like me, I "know" it.  And that is exactly what  noticed about others and wondered, what is wrong with THEM, not ME!  That is what I noticed, that they think I "believe" something other than they do when I "know", I don't "believe".  It is my reality, twenty four hours a day.  So far, I have been more stable, more dependable, more honest, more trustworthy and more sensible than most who challenge my reality.  Many of them will even agree with this, so it is not that I am not fitting in, or mentally  "off" in some way, it is that I am "open" and see and say things the way they really are and exactly how they look to me, unless I am frightened to or threatened in some way.  And that has happened too.  So, as I told you earlier, people like me do not talk to people who are not like this, it is too dangerous and has no benefit for anyone. 

The fact is, for many who are not in the main hypnotized hive mind reality,we know that we are living in a populated universe and there are many different cosmic indiginies of souls that incarnate and often reincatnate into planets like this one for whatever their reasons might be.  It's been known forever here.  So, expecting everyone to act the same, use the same consciousness and parallel each other all the time is impossible and ridiculous.  This is what the human society is always trying to achieve. It will never happen.  This planet is not sealed in any way, it is open to whoever and whatever and quite dangerous a mix because of it.  So I just wanted to say that even though our leaders want us all to think the same way, it isn't going to ever happen completely and it isn't nice to try and force it.   I don't really have anything more to say than that. 

Angelique - What about the extraterrestrials and the UFO's you have seen and the Astral Travel and Entities you have conversed with?
Hanna - For people born open, or who have natural Cosmic Consciousness, that is all normal.  I know it might be fascinating for people who do not experience it, or who do not "believe" in it, but for me it is normal and personal.   Of course I have seen them, talked with them and their ships and communication probes are around now and then.  I have seen angels and spirits too.  Paranormal grew and become the normal of my life eventually and somewhat naturally. All of that came late in my thirties, when my mind had grown large enough in human consciousness which is very tight and wound and I am nearly sixty now and finally comfortable talking about any of this to people who are not open and I am not saying that you aren't.  All that came later was real, not philosophies and religions  politics or psychology. You see?  For people like me, the rest is private.  Sorry.

Angelique - I see, I had hoped to gather more information on those points, I guess I assumed. (laughing)  Sixty?  You seem so much younger. Well then, thank you Hanna for your time and story, I truly enjoyed our brief talks.
Hanna - I did too, thank you for your time as well.

I never saw Hanna again, nor did we chat on the internet anymore like this and I do not believe I ever will.  She told me things that I now know are private and could never write about, but I was convinced, there are many kinds of people who come to planet earth, and they are truly different and highly spiritual, they do not live like everyone else around them and they adapt to the societies as they find them but they do not think or see or experience like most do.  She didn't care about what others believed or needed for spiritual growth or about helping anyone, it was rude to interfere according to her ethics. And it seems they have an inate caution about others and never tell anything that goes on of such unusual nature to them or in their lives,  She told me there were many like her and they never talk to people that are not like them about anything other than light chat.  I will miss her. 

She truly was "different". Goodbye Hanna. . . . and thank you Zen Dope for inviting me to share my expierience with Hanna in your Rethink Section called "A populated Universe" of the story I simply called "Hanna's Consciousness".

Angelique Estelle
Music: The Knife: Hanna 39's Consciousness

____________________Hanna's Consciousness______________________________

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